


The Darkness Has a Voice (And It's Mine)

by The_Writing_Gremlin



Category: DCU (Comics), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood and Gore, Blood and Torture, Brutal Murder, Dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Depression, Hurt No Comfort, Killer Frost's comic powers, Mental Disintegration, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Not Season 3 Compliant, Other, Sad Ending, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, author is not okay, heat absorbtion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:55:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26603305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Writing_Gremlin/pseuds/The_Writing_Gremlin
Summary: Afraid of her powers, Caitlin attempts to get rid of Killer Frost.
Relationships: Caitlin Snow & Iris West, Caitlin Snow & Team Flash, Cisco Ramon & Caitlin Snow, Killer Frost & Caitlin Snow
Kudos: 4





	The Darkness Has a Voice (And It's Mine)

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I'm going to update Hold me as I drown but my brain wanted dark killer frost. Also, Caitlin is the big sad in this.

I should have known that this wasn’t going to end well from the moment I froze the shower. I was never going to beat this. 

Barry seems to think that he can fix this. He can’t. I know better. He doesn’t know how strong she is. He doesn’t know how hard I fight every second of every day to keep her from killing everyone around me. 

He thinks that I can get better. Ha. She’ll come out. It’s only a matter of time. And then he’ll know what I’ve been protecting them from all this time. 

He can’t fix this. I’m not broken. Well, I am. But not in the way he thinks. I’ve done the calculations. This isn’t reversible. Not anymore. She’s a part of me permanently now. 

Barry’s finally going to learn that his mistakes have permanent consequences. He fucked up majorly. And it’s not going to go away. I’m not going to go away. I’m not going to leave and let him conveniently forget me. He’s going to look me in the eyes every single day and remember what he’s done. 

I’ve accepted now that this was always meant to happen. I see now that I was on the path to becoming her long before Barry even saved his mother. 

Ronnie’s death broke me. It made me cold. I felt like I was losing a part of myself. And I did. Jay broke me even more. He took what little self-confidence I had left. And she came along. She became my mind mate. 

I knew that I might have to break my promise to Cisco that Killer Frost would never exist on this earth. I just wanted to comfort him. I just wanted to make one of the few friends that I had left to feel safe. I can’t keep him safe anymore. 

I just never expected that I’d have to keep him safe from me. Honestly, I’m not sure if I even want to anymore, I’m so tired. I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting her. 

I don’t know if I can anymore. She’s too strong. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’ve been drinking more too. It makes me actually feel something. I’ve also been having to hide the fact that I can’t actually feel temperature like a normal person.

I keep my apartment at about zero degrees Celcius. It’s kind of funny how I used to be so cold all the time. And now the cold doesn’t even affect me at all. 

I hardly feel anything anymore. The alcohol only keeps me warm for about four seconds. I don’t even really bleed anymore. 

I tried to see if I could free myself from her but I can’t. I even cut both of my forearms vertically. It bled sluggishly but then both cuts iced over.

I literally can’t bleed fast enough to kill myself. Pills won’t work because I have the metabolism of a metahuman now. 

I’m beginning to think that fire is the way to go. It may literally be the only thing that can kill me. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So I tried. Fire doesn’t work. I just absorbed the heat. It just increases my capability to produce ice. It just made me more powerful. I can’t escape her. She’s in my head all the time. There is literally nothing I can do to escape her. She’s going to be there forever and no one will be able to stop her. Barry’s powers won’t do anything to her. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I can’t resist her much longer. Every time I try to fight now, I get a migraine. And then I can’t function for a day. I can’t do this anymore. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I think I may have found a way. But I need a horizontal portal and a nuclear reactor. I deal with her in my head anymore. It’s too hard. I’m so tired of fighting. I’m so tired. 

  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  


Little Caty thought she could get rid of me. Ha. Well, she only got rid of herself. Kind of. Not really. She’s just screaming in our unconscious now. She put me in permanent control of the body. She still doesn’t know that I’ve been here to whole damn time. Well, I guess now she knows. 

She’s going to watch me do everything I ever wanted to do now. I’m going to kill all of her little friends and make her watch. She’ll see that they never loved her anyway. She was just a tool for them. But not to me. It may be painful for her at first but she will see that we are two sides of the same coin. I love her more than any of them ever could. I know her better than she knows herself. 

  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  


~~ Barry ~~

Oh, Barry. He was so easy to kill. His pesky little speed powers didn’t save him. The poor boy tried to appeal to our human side and convince us that we didn’t want to kill him. News flash: We did. Ha, flash. We made a pun. We aren’t human anyway. We never were. 

He screamed so beautifully. Our ice dagger cut through him so easily. Like he was made of butter.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~ Cisco ~~

~~ Iris ~~

Cisco and Iris tried to confront us. They tried to convince us that we could still be “redeemed”. We will never be. We don’t want to be. We are perfect the way we are. We don’t need their help. 

Cisco even tried to use his portals to escape. They didn’t save him. Not once we froze his hands off. His screams were so pitiful that we almost made his death quick. 

We have his face in our freezer along with Barry’s brain. We are still normal. 

Iris. Ah, she was annoying. We just ripped her to shreds and left her there. It was fun. 

Her father’s reaction was hilarious. We laughed a lot. He looked at us like we were sick. Maybe he’s right and we are. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It’s honestly hilarious how the little heroes think that they can stand against me when all I do is kill them when they try to take me down. They still think that they can save me but they’re trying to save a dead woman. 

  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
  


The ice is so beautiful stained with blood. The blood makes it warm. We never feel warm anymore. Warmth is so rare. We need warmth. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

We used some of Caty’s memories. We needed to figure out how to control our powers better. We figured out that we are a kind of heat vampire. We leech the heat from all sources except ourselves. We can not produce it naturally. We need to fix this. We don’t know what will happen when our core body temperature reaches zero. It will not be good. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

We don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve killed all of the people that hurt us. We have no purpose. No purpose. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

We don’t know anymore. 

There is nothing.

Nothing at all. 

  
  



End file.
